Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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