The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
