Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize
