Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
She bit a glass in half.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Randomize
