Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
