Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
