I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
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