I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
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