oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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