wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I want to fling myself into the sun
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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