I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Randomize
