on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize