I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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