uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Randomize