Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
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