He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
