I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Randomize
