it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
