...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
