the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
