You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
