im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
