Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
My day in three words: secret purse cake
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Randomize
