capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
