I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Randomize
