I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
