why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Randomize
