I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
