K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
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