I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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