You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize
