You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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