Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
