Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
