He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
