All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
