I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
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