he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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