I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize