Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
