Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
