Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
