I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
is that a dick in a sweater?
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Randomize
