But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
