Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Randomize
