So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I need a burrito and a hug.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Randomize
