I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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