Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Randomize
