Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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