Well apparently he's into motor boating.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
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