Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
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