apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I just want to make out with him forever
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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