WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Randomize