I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
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