He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
