Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
