I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
So vagazzling was a success
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