They should really pass out barf bags in church
We need to rekindle our bromance
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Randomize
