This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
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