It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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