smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
